As I sat alone in the dimly lit room, checking my texts and emails, I began to reflect back on two months ago. That was when things suddenly changed.
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I was sitting on the couch, trying to balance doing my homework and watching TV, when my phone went off. At first I hadn't noticed it, the TV was too loud. After a while I got bored of whatever it was I was watching and checked my phone. It was my best friend. Apparently, she had called to tell me that she was moving away.
I sat there in shock for atleast twenty minutes. I had no idea what to think. The fact that she was moving away meant that I would never see her again, and I didn't want to imagine what that would be like. In the end, I decided to call her back and try and get more information. There were plenty of details that seemed important at the time, but they weren't. I can't even remember why she was moving anymore, I suppose I was still in shock at the time.
Before my friend hung up, I made her promise me that this wasn't goodbye and that we would see eachother again. She promised, but I still wasn't sure. The next day I received a text from her telling me to go to the park. I wasn't sure why, but I did anyways.
She was there, waiting for me. I was excited to see her, and for a moment I forgot that this would be the last time I would see her before she left. We hung out for the rest of the day and even got ice cream. Still, I remember that the entire time, she didn't smile even once. Before I knew it we were back at the back sitting on a bench, when her mom came and picked her up. We said goodbye, and to this day I'm sure I saw a tear forming in her eye.
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Like I said before, I was in a dimly lit room, checking my texts and emails. It was then that what had happened began to dawn on me. She had kept her promise to see me again, just not in the way I had thought she would. It was the day at the park. That was goodbye.
All this time I had hoped that one day she would come back and everything would go back to normal. I thought that if I waited long enough she would suddenly return and we would be friends again, almost as if she had never left in the first place. I realize now that she knew this all along. That day at the park, she knew I would wait for her to someday keep her promise, and she knew that she would never be able to.
Slowly, a wave of sorrow and defeat began to wash over me. I broke down. After all this time acting cool and calm, I found myself crying like a child. It was painful, but I knew that she wouldn't want me to act like this. She would want me to go out there and make new friends, not cry about the loss of one.
And so I sat there, wiping the tears from my face and thinking about where to go from here. I knew that she was irreplaceable, and that the pain would never go away. Still, I couldn't spend the rest of my life in sorrow. I had to face the harsh reality that she was gone. I sighed and thought back to the three words I never got the chance to tell her.
5/23/2013, 3:56 am
